Within BDSM there are several subcategories including bondage & discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. 

 

Bondage means tying the partner’s limbs together while using restraints. This can include use of handcuffs, ropes or chains. Discipline, on the other hand, refers to psychological restraint or use of physical punishment such as whipping.

 

Dominance and submission refers to rituals that deal with a more mental aspect of BDSM. It involves giving or receiving control of one partner over another. There are often contracts laid out in these types of relationships, such as with Christian and Ana. Contracts outline formal consent and the aspects of how their relationship is to be laid out. These contracts, however, are not legally binding.

 

Sadism and masochism, sometimes shortened to sadomasochism, refers to the exchange of physical or emotional pain. Sadism is the pleasure someone derives from inflicting pain upon a partner. On the other hand, in masochism the partner gains pleasure from being hurt.

 

A common myth about BDSM is that it is “all about pain.” In actuality, it is about the exchange of power and pleasure. 

 

Practitioners stress the importance of safety and consent in BDSM. There are several phrases that are used such as “safe, sane and consensual,” or “risk aware consensual kink.”  These ideals stress that all aspects of play are discussed for truly informed consent. 

 

BDSM is practiced by all kinds of partners of varying sexualities and arrangements. The important thing to remember is to be open to your partner about any kind of kink you want to try out, and to be safe about it.

 

Openness in a relationship is what makes it flourish. BDSM, when practiced in a safe, consensual manner, can bring a relationship between partners to new levels of intimacy.